Archive for the ‘Jews in court’ Category

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Blame it on the Rebbe

January 19, 2010

Here we go again. Somebody does something wrong or something goes wrong, who better to blame then the Lubavitcer Rebbe.

The following is a combat manual containing a list of tried and true tactics that have been field tested in our neighborhood multiple times with fantastic results. I hope it assists you on your holy mission.

The tests were conducted during the following campaigns.
1. Bais Din vs.  Fisher
2..Gaobim vs. Aguch
3. Mishichistin vs. Chabad
4. Sperlin vs. Rabashkin
5. New Vaad vs. old Vaad

6. R. Osdaba vs. R. Shcwei

Tactic #1 “The Rebbe attack and defense”

ATTACK: As soon as the fighting begins, make sure you are well stocked will letters form the Rebbe illustrating that your point of view is correct. This will set the tone for the upcoming battles and will convey to the masses that this is a holy war. A minimal of two letters is recommended

DEFENSE: If your opponent deploys his own letters indicating that you are incorrect, you must immediately counter his claims by stating a) the letters are false b) by illustrating that the current situation is different then the one the letter was intended for. It is critical that you apply your extensive Talmudic training in proving a difference between the Rebbe’s letter and the current situation.

Tactic #2 “The Rabonim attack and defense”

ATTACK: As the fighting moves into high gear, make sure you obtain a letter signed by Rabonim indicating that you are correct. This will reiterate your point that this battle is driven by people of high moral standards, not by private agendas.

DEFENSE: If your opponent deploys his own letter signed by Rabonim indicating that you are incorrect, you must immediately counter his claims by stating a) the letter is false b) the Rabonim who signed, do not have jurisdiction over this issue c) the Rabonim who signed are bias and therefore are disqualified from passing a ruling. d) You must immediately produce your own letter signed by Rabonim indicating why you are not obligated to listen to the other Rabonim

Tactic #3 “The Civil Court attack and defense”

ATTACK: If all else fails, hire a lawyer and file a suit in civil court. It is advisable to include allegations of personal corruption even if irrelevant, in order to intimidate your opponent and shock the masses.

Be prepared to defend your actions by explaining a) you have a letter from Rabonim allowing you to go to court b) your opponent refused arbitration (Zabla) c) you are acting in self defense. d) Explain that although it’s currently a painful thing to do, in the long run it will be a big Kiddush Hashem!

DEFENSE: If you find yourself being dragged into court by your opponent you must a) act shocked and play the roll of a victim b) make sure you include the words “Mosur” and “Chilul Hashem” in all ensuing conversations c) maintain that it was your opponent that refused Zabla d) express your disgust at your opponent for bringing the “Rebbe’s Mosed” to court .

Tactic #4 “The Chilul Hashem attack and defense”

ATTACK: throughout the duration of the battle and specifically during the beginning of the hearings in civil court, in is important to accuse your opponent of causing a “Chilul Lubavitch” and a “Chilul Hashem”, this will paint you opponent as being selfish and unconcerned about the communities image.

DEFENSE: If you find yourself being accused of “Chilul Hashem” a) act shocked b) deny all allegations c) counter attack by accusing your opponent of making a Chilul Hashem.

Tactic #5 “The Sholom attack and defense”

ATTACK: throughout the duration of the battle, in is important to accuse your opponent of causing the Mochlokes and rejecting compromise, this will paint you opponent as being the cause of the current strife.

DEFENSE: If you find yourself being accused of Machlokes a) act shocked b) deny all allegations c) counter attack by accusing your opponent of being the cause of the current Machlokes.

Tactic #6 “Disqualification attack and defense”

ATTACK: throughout the duration of the battle it is important to explain that your opponents position within his organization is questionable. This can be accomplish by calling into question the validity of the elections that he won, the scope of his intended responsibilities, and by searching for additional technicalities within the bylaws of his organization.

DEFENSE: Deny and counterattack with similar accusations.
Tactic #7 “Allegations Of Corruption And External Influence attack and defense”

ATTACK: It is vital that you accuse your opponent of corruption and mismanagement. This should be done be creating believable conspiracy theories. These theories should include under-the-table deals with wealthy community members and other similar accusations.

NOTE: When dealing with Rabonim it is advisable to avoid direct accusations. All accusations should be made against the individuals that work for them. Doing so will present the Rov as naïve not evil, and is more acceptable to the public.

DEFENSE: Deny and counterattack with similar accusations.

Repeat tactics #1 through #7 until members of the community loose interest, and then proceed to the next battleground.

Viful a Shiur???

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A Jewish S.t.a.r.

January 5, 2010

Stop the

Terror,

Abuse &

Rape

Mr goldman is heard to breath a sigh of releaf that he is only taking non professionals, but is said to be doing backround checks on all its current amatures.

while some have balls to post about it, others pray at the ohel, but after seeing all the support col feels the need to publish another french story and gives HT to shmais, i smell a new partnership. (will research this stay tuned) then tries to divert everyones attention to italy

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Kars4Kids “is not one of them”

December 14, 2009

Vin who takes his time to post every story thats jewish finally doesnt post a story, then writes a story how he didnt write the story while writing the story.

in attept to clear there name Kars4Kids screams and shouts that its “NOT ONE OF THEM”

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Over Messia!

December 10, 2009

“The sects have had a long-running argument over who they believe is the true messiah

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closing statements

December 10, 2009

the DA closed with a statment to the jury, talking about pual levi hubner

“the reason you should find them guilty beyond resonable dought, and belive the victems and wittneses lies is bc they couldve lied even more.

thanks for confirming that PH sux at setting up “good enough lies”

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NOT GUITLY

December 10, 2009

With 5 guys fully cleared and 1 guy cleared of over 20 charges but left with one

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money comes money goes

December 10, 2009

Hubner sues for $144,000,000.00

arab sues for $110,000,000.00